It is that time again. Time to gear up for another deployment. I have one been on one deployment as a wife and countless deployments as a daughter. I have found some things that made it easier for me to get through both types.
One thing that will help any couple is trust. Without trust you have no marriage. Without trust your marriage will fail on deployment. That is something you need to make it out of this obstacle alive and thriving. Plain and simple.
Communication is not only key to any marriage, but especially a military marriage. Our loved ones are half a world away. We need to be on the same page about home, finances and especially our children. As a daughter I remember waiting on letters from my mom. They were numbered just in case the mail would get weird. Now day’s snail mail is out of the question. We have email. It is faster and cheaper. I understand that there are times where email is not up, where you are not able to get a response back. I went through my share of those times. I still sent emails. When the email would come up they would be waiting for him. Also, just because he was not able to send out sometimes he was still able to get emails. I still send my emails. Even if they were just to say “I love you”, he got my emails.
Care packages are what get the guys and gals through the day. I mailed a lot of non-perishable food to him and lots of stuff from the kids. The USPS has a military kit that has priority boxes so you can stuff it with all you need to for a flat rate. It helped tremendously.
Pictures. Lots of pictures. He would send them home and we would email them to him. I am sure that the Its that review the emails got tired of seeing my daughter then my son. It is okay. I don’t mind ;)
Books, books and more books. Your spouse can read a book on board the ship and record it and your little ones will get it on a DVD. We did not plan for this the right way but the best way to do this is to get 2 copies of the books that will be read. Mom/Dad takes one and the other stays home with the kiddos. They can read along while watching the DVD. This worked out GREAT. My son at 2 months knew his daddy’s voice and face from 3 days old. I also think this helped my daughter remember her daddy.
Money is tight for some on deployments. Make sure you have an understanding of how much will be spent in each port. Remember also that they will not be in port every month. You can always save up for a port. It is important that they get to get off the ship. This is where your trust and communication really come into play.
One thing that has helped me through work ups and deployment is a smart phone. When I first went through this as a wife, I had a Sidekick. Now and iPhone. I need my email at my finger tips. It really helps for me to be able to email him my thoughts and instant pictures of the kiddos.
Map it! Show your children on a map where mommy or daddy is. My dad did this for me and I cannot tell you how it helped me. I was much older, teenager, but my mother was gone. This made it a bit easier.
Tick tock… Time zone maps also really help. My daughter at eighteen months really liked this one. She had a hard time realizing that just because the sun was up where we were doesn’t mean the sun was up where daddy was.
Deployments are not fool proof. You have to hope for the best. I am going through our recent deployment with 2 more kiddos than I had last time. Three years after my last one. I sent SD off with a ton of food, warm clothes, and his computer. Other than his wife and kids, these are all things he loves. I can only hope he has good memories, doesn’t eat nasty food, and gets a good break from us that when we roll to shore he is ready to help out for the next ten months as we gear up for another one.
I will see you later babe, I love you and I will miss you.
dude, thats alot of good info....you'll be ok!!!
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